it's kind of a funny story.

So, as some of you may know, I’ve been reading a book called The Story. It’s essentially the bible in actual book form, meaning I can read it cover to cover. Exciting, right? I never thought I’d be so into it, but I’m completely engrossed. The pages are sticky noted, highlighted, and covered in writing. It’s actually kind of funny when I go back to find a quote and read my comments. I’ve learned a lot already, but coupling it with going to church, I’ve sort of come to a few conclusions with the His help.

Yesterday I went to Daniel’s church. The service was at 10:30 am. Neither Daniel nor I were planning on going, but for some reason when I woke up that morning, God sent me some serious church vibes. So, I naturally, I listened. I showed up eager to see what He had in-store for me today. This particular service stuck out to me and really touched my heart. Go figure: God gets me up in the morning and bam, the particular service He sends me to is one that I desperately cling to with meaning. Anyway, Daniel’s church is a very small, very intimate church. The establishment itself is very quaint and mellow. The pastor is a tall bald man, who speaks ever so softly. It’s almost as if he whispers on purpose so that we will listen to more than just him, but to God.

This particular serve was about faith, fear, and risk. The Pastor spoke of how humans fear the life unlived, but seldom have the faith to risk failure and loss. He told us that the only way to eliminate the fear of risk is to eliminate the possibility of loss. Jesus was not the only one who died on the cross that day. You died too. It really got me thinking. If we’ve already died once, so why are we still scared? If we’ve already died, there is no more risk, right? It made me realize live in such fear of failure and loss, but it’s absolutely pointless when we have nothing to fear. It is this fear that shakes the very foundation of faith. Faith by very definition is the evidence of things not seen. And, it is what happens between risk. Faith comes from hearing; hearing by the word of God. Faith comes from God speaking to you specifically. It is sometimes difficult. I believe that faith is a true terrorist of reason. It is ridiculous, and doesn’t always make sense. It is easily tainted by indecision, hesitation, fear, anger, and impatience. A true faith, however, is unyielding and fearless. I realized that I have a faith that is fearless. Who else would be crazy enough to walk away from nursing without a second’s hesitation if it is His will? Me. I remember asking him for guidance, and if He didn’t want me as a nurse, I’d do whatever He called me to do. Keep in mind that nursing is all I’ve ever known. And for me to say, “Okay God, I’ll go if you want me to,” is just reckless. After I’ve told people this, they all respond the same. First in shock, then in wonder: they ask me if I was worried or scared, and truth be told, I wasn’t. Not one bit. And, for a while I couldn’t explain why, but after yesterday’s service, I realized it was my faith in God. I wasn’t frightened because I didn’t need to be. I knew that He would take care of me and call me to wherever I needed to be. It is His will, not your fear’s. It made me realize that you should never let fear decide your fate for God has always held the master plan. All that happens might not be easy, but it’ll be worth it, for it is His will. To let go of that fear and to trust that God’s plan is a true faith, to me. It doesn’t make sense to leave such a grand part of your life to faith. It doesn’t and didn’t make sense, but most notions of faith don’t. God works in strange ways, man. (And for the record, He didn’t call me away from nursing).

This particular service helped me understand God’s prophet, Daniel, a bit more, too. Coincidentally, I’d just reached Daniel’s chapter in God’s book. Daniel did God’s will without the slightest hesitation. He knew that God would have his back and didn’t flinch in the face of danger because God would keep him safe. And, God did keep him safe. God delivers to those whose faith is as unwavering as His love.

A true faith is more than reckless.

A true faith is fearless.

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